you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
