I bet he comes in French.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
