I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize