Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
