I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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