Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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