Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
