she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
