How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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