i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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