I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize