Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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