Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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