(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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