It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
