yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
