Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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