Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
being pregnant is like rehab
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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