I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
