if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
