i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
