OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
