I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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