You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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