oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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