I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
