Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
