in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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