we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
either way he was missing a nipple.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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