i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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