I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
