So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
