How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
