I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
