and i looked up. we had an audience...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
