I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
