I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
