Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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