I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
