everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize