i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
