i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize