Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
