My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
