You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
