Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
