How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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