My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize