Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
