There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
