I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
