I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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