my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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