But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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