I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
