Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
