South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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