went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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