she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
