Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize