My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
