I'm eating all of the evidence.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
