did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
