after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize