Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
