You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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