Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
