I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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