i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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